Saturday, January 26th:
God exists, and the meaning of all that I am depends totally on that knowledge. I wonder constantly if I am genuinely allowing my life to be determined by that truth. Maybe part of my reason for hesitating to embrace this truth fully is that it challenges me to give up all control over my life and to let God be God, my God, the God of my neighbor, and the God of all creation. But I also realize that as long as I do not “do” this, my life is an illusion and most of my energy is spoiled in trying to keep that illusion going.
Does all this mean that my thoughts, plans, projects, and ideas no longer matter? That conclusion has been drawn by people who used the spiritual life as a way to manipulate others, and that conclusion has led, sadly enough, to false views on asceticism, obedience, surrender to God’s will, and certain forms of self-denial. The converted person does not say that nothing matters anymore, but that everything that is happens in God and that he is the dwelling place where we come to know the true order of things. Instead of saying: “Nothing matters anymore, since I know that God exists,” the converted person says: “All is now clothed in divine light and, therefore, nothing can be unimportant.”
Henri J. M. Nouwen